The rumor mill spins out of control with alleged Jay Cutler-Kristin Cavallari, and Aaron Rodgers-Erin Andrews trysts, so we realized something about NFC North QBs— they can really pull some tail. And we haven’t yet mentioned the hundreds of times Brett Favre allegedly cheated on his wife, (We’ll skip discussing the whole alleged Jenn Sterger SEXTING incident) or Matthew Stafford‘s gorgeous former University of Georgia cheerleader who made sports blog “news” (do they make air quotes strong enough for me to convey my condescension for referring to that as “news”?) when she recently got implants.
So, to quote the Black-Eyed Peas, “let’s get retarded in here,” and discuss the most mindless topic of all: celebrity gossip. What follows isn’t a ranking or rating of any kind, but a list. I’ll let you decide for yourself which NFC North QB, the leader of the Chicago Bears, Green Bay Packers, Minnesota Vikings, or Detroit Lions, landed the best arm-candy.
By the way, if you want to read about actual football, read our ranking of the QBs themselves here. In that column, we don’t use the word “alleged” 3,000 times in the opening paragraph.
By Paul M. Banks
Matthew Stafford, Detroit, former UGA cheerleader hottie with breast implants
See above for picture, well here’s another pic below.
Brett Favre, Minnesota, wife Deanna
It’s actually both eerie and hilarious how much his wife looks exactly how Jenn Sterger will likely appear in about 10-15 years. It reminds me of that “Lost” episode when we find out how Benjamin Linus’ mother looks EXACTLY like Juliet Burke. We’ve all heard the stories about Favre’s carousing and womanizing during his Green Bay days. I heard a great story about something he allegedly did in his steakhouse. We’ll save that one for offline. I’m not going on record with that rumor.
Jay Cutler, Chicago, Kristin Cavallari
I’ve only met Cutler under the corporatized, Stalinesque, gestapo thought police environment that is Chicago Bears PR (or as us media types call them “Police Resistance”) so I have no idea what he’s really like. But everyone I know who’s met him has said he’s extremely unfriendly and condescending. And since we all know attractive women love egomaniacal jerks, this makes perfect sense.
Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay, Erin Andrews
Imagine what their “Bradgelina” or “Benifer” style couple name would be. This isn’t confirmed, but then again so much of what matters in life rarely is.
Paul M. Banks is President and CEO of The Sports Bank.net , a Midwest focused webzine. He is also a regular contributor to Chicago Now, the Chicago Tribune’s blog network, Walter Football.com, the Washington Times Communities, Yardbarker Network, and Fox Sports.com
You can follow him on Twitter @thesportsbank and @bigtenguru
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